Humorous online dating stories

We saw a movie, got sushi, talked, laughed and really hit it off all night. We started to talk about setting up a date, but before I responded with my availabilities I coincidentally saw a tweet with a bunch of photos that looked really familiar. I had seen him around but I never worked up the courage to talk to him.

He paid for everything and the conversation never dulled. Basically, the guy stole some Vine star named Steven Kelly’s photos and created a fake profile. I showed my friend his profile and she told me that he was the guy who sells her Adderall.

At one point, I basically shoved it into his mouth to get it over with, and he immediately knocked it out of my hand.

It rolled under a pinball machine and we were disqualified.

Your cousin is my best friend and I still feel like you’re a little girl.’ Ouch. It was all fun and games until she came across this guy I had been seeing for several months. Fantasies & football “I matched with this guy and when I was looking over his profile I saw all of these professional-looking pictures of him wearing Eagles jerseys and playing football.

Never one to admit defeat, I quipped back, ‘I guess you enjoy sticking your tongue down little girls’ throats.’ We haven’t talked since.” 5. We thought it would be funny for her to swipe right and see what happened. I searched his name on Google and realized he actually was on the NFL team. Failed experiments “I was using Tinder to experiment with girls, but I was struggling to get matches and messages.

He drove me home and said goodnight with an amazing kiss. We talked for a few weeks longer, but he didn’t ask me on another date. Get matched with someone I don't want to get matched with so I offer a movie date that my mom will pick us up and take us to. I later found out he sold a multitude of other drugs and that he and his roommates had their apartment broken into and were held at gunpoint by other Philly drug dealers a few months back. Send nudes “I finally got my first match on Tinder and it turned out to be some chick who just wanted me to pay her for nudes.” 9.

This was awkward, especially because he was not late ... As he was coming out to meet me, my ex-boyfriend walked by, and we started chatting.When my ex left, I turned around to introduce myself to the date and my shoe completely broke. "- Michelle, 28"When I was living in the Netherlands, I went on a date with a guy.He conveniently missed the last train back to his city, which was 30 mins away.Everything was closed, so I had to wait with him outside in the freezing cold until the next one at 5 a.m., because I DID NOT want to go back to my apartment with him. The world of online dating can be a very dark, strange place.Telling your epic tale bonds you to your fellow bad-date survivors, and somehow makes you feel less alone. We’ve teamed up with NBC's Undateable to collect some stories about terrible bad dates and the lessons we've learned from them. (The bartender tipped me off to the exact number while the dude was in the bathroom.) I somehow still ended up going to another bar with him, where he proceeded to order guacamole and REFUSE to share it with me, while claiming he was going to 'Throw all the hipsters over the wall and into the street.' The worst part was that he wouldn't share his guac, IMHO."- Kelsea, 28"I once went on a blind date with a man who followed me to the gig I had afterwards, left to pee, came back an hour later very drunk, and revealed in the parking lot he had multiple felony assault charges! The bar we were at was having a trivia night; since we entered a round late, we came in last place.Catch the special one-hour Season 3 premiere of Undateable on Friday, Oct. Google is your friend, ladies."- Emma, 24"I went on a date with a guy whose idea of romance was taking me to his family's church, where they were trying to break the record for a hymn-singing marathon. At this bar, the losing team (us) and the winning team (a couple on a legit good first date) had to participate in a 'physical challenge.' The announcer made me and the other girl blindfold our partners, and then he handed us gigantic cucumbers covered in peanut butter.Having kissed my fair share of frogs on Tinder, I can attest that dating is horrible. Luckily, bad date stories are supremely entertaining and very fun to tell. In these scenarios, the lemon is a scrubby dude who always forgets his wallet at home.This is not to say that a terrible date doesn’t leave you crestfallen.I thought I was being catfished, but his verified Instagram account started following me and liked all my pictures (my Instagram is linked to my Tinder). Just short of perfect “While abroad my friends all used Tinder to meet locals. I got really bad advice from a friend who said that it was because I didn’t give off a ‘lesbian vibe’ so I needed to play on my lack of experience.This one man, Alberto, really wanted to meet up and he kept asking me so I finally agreed to go out for some wine. She said that people apparently like to be your first.

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  1. Michael The duel—or shall I call it, perhaps, vendetta—between Norman Greyes and myself—known under many aliases but christened Michael Sayers—commenced on the morning of the third of November, some years ago, when I left my suburban home at Brixton to catch my usual train to the city, and found myself confronted upon the pavement with the immediate chances of life or death. Every man at Scotland Yard was known to me by name and reputation, and I was perfectly convinced in my own mind that there was no one in that much abused but, from our point of view, admirable institution, capable of penetrating the secrets of my daily life and discovering in me, the reputed Thomas Pugsley, leather agent of St.