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One caveat: Before I offer you my observations, please note that I am from the U. and most of the foreign woman/Korean man relationships I've had personal contact with involve women from western countries--usually white or ethnic Korean. Most international couples/marriages with Korean men involve women from China and southeast Asian countries and suffer a number of other problems regarding racism, unequal financial status of the countries, and an association with prostitution/mail-order brides, even when the relationship began as a romantic courtship.

This makes me sad, and most of my advice will not be terribly helpful for women in that situation. They are generalizations, and definitely don't apply to every single case, but this is my insight from personal experience and girl blab sessions, a la :1. This is not always true in Western countries, where the social pressure to be married before 35 is relaxed. I had many men ask me, within about five minutes of meeting and flirting with me, my opinion of international marriage and/or how long I planned to stay in Korea.

For example, he might not tell his family and friends about you for six months or even years, but it doesn't mean the same thing it would in your home country.

Koreans just aren't open about romantic relationships, even with family and close friends.

It's funny because, your status as 외국인 can keep you at arm's length from the man you're dating or his family, and that's not a great thing, but being accepted into Korean society comes with big responsibilities.6.

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Interesting note: If you combine #1 and #2 it leads to a corollary note that many Korean men, even if they are interested or smitten, will not ask you out or date you. The less-good ones might sleep with you a few times, but they will not make you their girlfriend.3.

The part of this that I'm still having trouble accepting is that this hold doesn't exactly end after marriage; Korean men are expected to help support their parents financially and emotionally once they are "settled," i.e. Effectively, if I marry Min Gi, I will already have a dependent: his mother.4.

Korean dating "rules" are different than your home country.

"Secret relationships" are the norm here for about three-four months for friends, a year or more for family.

Min Gi, while not hiding anything, refused to answer our friends' questions about whether or not we were dating for about three months.

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