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I see this pattern in my clients, my girlfriends, and have even been there myself. It is exhausting to be in any find of romantic relationship from dating to marriage where you are constantly change someone.And the reason it is exhausting is because it is not possible.
Perhaps you may relate to the following scenario: you have met someone you are falling for or have already fallen into a relationship.
And everything would be absolutely perfect if the object of your affection would just change that one thing that really bothers you.
I am not talking about habits that annoy you or his imperfections that make him human and not a leading man in a romantic blockbuster.* It's the thing that keeps you up at night and creates endless anxiety.
Knowing that we are all somewhat influenced by the collective unconscious of belief systems that we have been carrying around since the beginning of time may help you if you are judging yourself for settling.
Remind yourself there is not a man shortage and stop living out of alignment with your values.