Dating men on the rebound

I’ve had a lot of comments and emails since wondering about what the hell is going on in the mind of a Transitional, so here are the key things: Their ex. Whether it’s them, the things that they’re frustrated or in denial about from the breakup, or the feelings they’re struggling with, their thoughts are either actively preoccupied with their ex or they’re putting in overtime to push them out of their thoughts.

What you can be sure of is that their mind is not anywhere near as focused on the relationship job at hand because they’re distracted by the emotional and/or legal ties. Look, I get it, it’s hard after a breakup or a loss through death because you’re consumed with thoughts about them and recognise that you need to get back out there. People who don’t manage their own ‘impacts’ from relationship are far more comfortable finding a Buffer (yes that would be you) to lessen the impact of the previous relationship during this transition.

They seem to think other people like you are there to inadvertently sort out their problems and pain. They could take the time to get over their ex, but no, they think “Hmmm, if someone is that fabulous, I’ll spontaneously combust into being available and over them.” What they don’t realise is that this passes the buck to you. It’s like there’s cotton wool or tumbleweeds in there. They cannot commit and they don’t truly want to commit in the truest sense of the word and if push comes to shove, they always have the emotional and/or legal ties to distance and protect them.

You’re not Heartbreak Hotel, Rehab Rachel, or a fluffer.

They want stability and are often used to someone making themselves indispensable for them.

Whether it’s figuring out what’s going on in a troubling relationship, understanding you and self-care, or being more assertive, I’m here to help you guide you.

A rebound is an undefined period following the break up of a romantic relationship.

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